Certain People I Know

At 901 South National, you don't find committee work. It finds you. That is, if you're worth a damn at serving on committees. I'm hardly the most assiduous Servant of the University; my name appears exactly twice in the 2007-2008 Committees Handbook. That handbook, of course, doesn't list College or Department Committees. Nor does it list the instances in which faculty members are pressed into doing something because everyone else who could do it is already too busy, and the others are too lazy or too stupid, or both. Here's a quick guide to the certain people I know on these committees.

Saints: These are the true believers. 901 South National calls, they answer. They can't say no, even if they are already overcommitted to start with. Lookthem up in the Committee Handbook index and you will see five to ten separate numbers after their names. I know a few of them, some very well. They include gifted teachers, gifted scholars, and people who are accomplished at both teaching and research. I just don't get it.

Sycophants: These people sign up because it gives them something to do instead of teaching or doing research. If they do it long enough, they may get a job as director or full-time administrator of Something Really Important, where they get to sit in a big office wearing nice clothes and telling a secretary what to do. Or, at the very least, a drastically reduced teaching load and a graduate assistant. Some are Usual Suspects. They can also be described as the highest echelon of looters.

Saps: The saps tend to jump in if and only if it looks like nobody else will take on a given task. They are respectably cynical about their place in the 901 South National community. Most wouldn't consider becoming an administrator or the director of Something Really Important for double their current salary. Most would much rather do research, or teach, or both.