Barbarism Begins At Home

The faculty activity surveys are now out of our Personnel Committee's hands. As suspected, the departmental asshats have outdone themselves in portraying their sorry excuses for a life as meritorious academic performance. Who could have guessed that a dog-and-pony show at a local elementary show counted as scholarship? Or that instructional technology included faxes and emails? Or that one could chair a committee which, in fact, doesn't even exist? There's a certain low pleasure to calling bullshit on pathetic bilge like this, but it passes quickly. I wish somebody at 901 South National could do something about these asshats - like institute a post-tenure review process. But traditionally, a crack on the head is what you get for asking.

Now that I've finished working through my pile of faculty activity surveys, I have a sneaking feeling that this go-around may turn out badly. I would love to be wrong, as I was last year. But things are changing quickly at dear old 901 South National. Familiar old troughs are being shut down or diverted, and sinecures (at least most of them) eliminated or turned into real jobs. Not everyone is happy about this fact, least of all the departmental asshats. I can't say I'm exactly thrilled about each and every change, either - the new cost center model, for example, has turned scheduling into an exercise in prayer and guesswork. But then, I'm not obligated to be thrilled. Since I'm still too young to retire, I have to adapt.

That said, I had still better catch up on the asshats this year. Or I will smite them even harder next year.